survival of the misfit

This is survival of the fittest
This is do or die
This is the winner takes it all
So take it All, A-All, A-All, A-All

...

But I want you to doubt me, I don't want you to buh-lieve
Cause this is something that I must use to succeed
And if you don't like me then fuck you, self-esteem
Must be fuckin' shootin' through the roof cause trust me
My skin is too thick and bullet proof to touch me
I can see why the fuck I disgust you, I must be
Allergic to failure cause every time I come close to it I just sneeze
but I just go achoo then A-chieve!

‒ Eminem, "Survival"

This is the song that I am feeling right now.  Right now meaning at the very moment that I am typing this.



As brilliant as the above video is, it's really all about the song.

It's so lyrical, so aggressive, so raw.  So Eminem.  And so like "'Till I Collapse", which happens to be one of my favorites.

And just like on that track, Eminem delivers a clear message on "Survival", and it is a similar one: when faced with adversity, you survive, or better yet thrive, by using the situation to surpass yourself.  Although this interpretation may fall short compared to the value of this song, it must be nonetheless noted that adversity as it is referenced here is perceived as a necessity, or even as an opportunity.

And the truth is that many of us, if not all, encounter adversity from time to time.  Job loss, breakups, financial issues, and health problems are some common ones.  While I am not immune to these kinds of adversity, the one that I experience on a more durable basis results from the feeling that I do not fit well in society.  The feeling of being a misfit, in short.  Misfit by his point of view, misfit by his ideas, misfit by his interests.  I accept that deep down within myself, this is what I truly yearned to be.  Not necessarily a misfit per se, but someone different.  Special.  Yet the pressures of society have been such that I often settled for a life where I talked and I behaved in the same way as the majority of the people around me.  Talk about conflict.

However, in spite of the external pressure and the internal conflict, the misfit in me refuses to rest.  It was never completely silent in the tough times of the past, so I do not expect it to be so in the uncertain events of the future.  Moreover, it has been by choosing to nourish this misfit that I have been able to give life to my operations.  It has been by choosing to nourish this misfit that I have been able to experience inner peace and plenty of joy.  It has been by choosing to nourish this misfit that I have survived well enough and long enough to write this.

So, in the words of Eminem, who also sees himself as a misfit, this is something that I must use to succeed.  To surpass myself.

But this is not just survival of the fittest, as the chorus of "Survival" says.

This is also survival of the misfit.

I used to be the type of kid that, would always think the sky is fallin'
Now I think the fact that I'm differently wired's awesome

‒ Eminem, "Legacy"